by Megan Alvarez – Minister – Kids and Families
Young Marriage After God’s Heart
If you would’ve told me back in high school, that I would be married at 20 years old, I probably would have laughed in your face. Never in a million years, did I think I was “ready” or even capable to be a wife, let alone be that strong person for someone else. Back then, my idea of marriage was not even close to what it is now. Of course, every little girl dreams about their wedding day, and walking down the aisle with her dad, to the love of her life, sharing smiles with tons of friends and family surrounding them. When you hear the word marriage as a kid, in my opinion, you can’t fully process what that really means until you are an adult. As a child marriage seems so blissful. Like the stuff you see in Disney movies where there is always a happy ending, and the princess always gets her prince, and they live happily ever after. I’m not saying marriage will never feel blissful, or like a happily ever after, but this past year of marriage, I have learned SO much. When I said earlier that my idea of marriage is not the same, here’s why. Marriage is not just being a wife or husband, it’s not just being strong for the other person, and it’s not just two people living together. No, not at all, in fact marriage is the opposite. Marriage is about two people becoming one under God, it’s about two people being willing to sacrifice what they want at times for the other person, and most of all it is a commitment before the Lord to honor Him in all we do as we are united into one.
I will often get the question of why we got married so young, or how I knew I wanted to get married. And to me, the answer is simple, I have found the one my soul loves, and we both wanted to spend the rest of our lives together honoring God. As a young married couple, I will be the first one to tell you, that it is hard. As hard as it can be though, we both know that we want to please the Lord and honor him in all we do. Before we got married, we went through pre marriage counseling and learned a lot of new things about each other, and how to fulfill the promise we were making to God, with our marriage. I love the passage in 1 Corinthians which says this, “Love is patient, love is kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. This verse gives us so much wisdom and knowledge about marriage and about how Christ loves us. This verse is not always the easiest thing to remember, especially when we feel angry, or hurt by our spouse and are mid argument, but when I stop and reflect on this verse, I am reminded of the way God loves me. The Lord is patient and kind, he is humble, and he never gives up on us, no matter the storm or circumstance. When I think about how God loves me, it makes me want to love my spouse in the same way, even when they have hurt me.
In Ephesians 5, it says “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord…and for husbands, this means love your wife, just as Christ loved the church, his bride!” When we think about marriage in this way, I feel as though it becomes so clear. God is literally telling us in His Word, what to do in our marriage! Like I said earlier, being married young is hard, it is hard because we don’t have all the years of experience, or even the fully maturity to solve things in a mature way, we don’t have all the wisdom (nobody does except God), and we sure as heck don’t know exactly what we’re doing. But the one thing we do know, is that we want a marriage after God’s heart and Ephesians 5 gives us the recipe for that! It makes me so excited to know that God created two people to be together! In Genesis 2 it says “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” I love this, because right from the very beginning of time, God intended two people, male and female, to be together to serve him as one! I know I have mentioned a few times that young marriage, (and marriage in general) is hard, but it isn’t always, it is joyous and happy too, and it is oh so worth it. To have the person that God intended for you, to love Him and serve Him together is a beautiful thing. I pray that you may find wisdom in these verses and that it may give you hope for a marriage after God’s heart!