You’re So Emotional (and That’s Good)
A while back, I was meeting with some men, and the topic of emotions came up. One of the guys said, “I am glad I am not very emotional because emotions can get messy.” Because I had been growing in my understanding of emotions, I said back to this brother, “Well, would you consider anger an emotion?” He said, “Yes, I guess I would.” The conversation with the men turned to talking about all the different emotions men feel – including sadness, frustration, anger, joy, pride (the good kind), and more. We concluded with a simple statement: “I guess we are all emotional.” That’s true, and that’s a good thing!
Emotions are from God, and we don’t need to run from them, but we do need to understand them. Our church is in the middle of a two-month series on Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. This is the name of a book that Pete Scazzero wrote, addressing the problems that come with Christians label emotions as “bad” and ignore what is happening inside our souls. The goal of this series is not to talk about this for two months and be done but to give people tools for lifelong understanding and growth. I want to share a few thoughts on emotional health that I hope will be helpful for you.
Spiritual, emotional, physical, relational, and mental health are all connected. I have known believers who ignored their mental health, and I have known people outside of our faith who focus on emotional or mental health while neglecting their spiritual health. A human being has many different aspects of health, but they are all integrated into one person, and they all affect each other. I once thought I was having a crisis of faith – but a mentor helped me see that staying up until 2am in the morning and eating pizza four days a week were the real culprits. Growth in one area can strengthen the others – but only if we allow the integration. In other words, don’t disintegrate or over-categorize your life. God cares about every aspect of your life (see Luke 2:52).
Health is a culmination of habits. Pastor Bob Balian said, “We never drift in the right direction.” We drift towards fast food not health food. While it is possible to have good habits without health (just as the Pharisees in Jesus’ day), it is not possible to have health without habits. Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do.” To be healthy in all the different areas listed above, each of us has to commit to healthy habits. These can include sleep, diet, rest, time with loved ones, worship, prayer, exercise, journaling, counseling, mentoring, and more. Life transformation begins with a decision, which is followed up by exchanging bad habits (we all got ‘em) into good habits.
Health is not static but requires ongoing time and attention. In my thirties, I gained about five pounds a year. At first, I didn’t think it mattered, but the weight started adding up. I realized that health is not static but something that requires ongoing work. Being a healthy person does not mean I will never get sick but that I can recover. It is the same with our spiritual and emotional health. John Weborg, in his book Made Healthy in Ministry for Ministry, wrote, “One cannot learn anything about oneself that is not already atoned for….The Bible grant[s] permission to grief without the slightest hint of guilt” (pgs. 60, 94). We are all emotional—it is part of our wiring—and emotional health happens not in an instant but through ongoing care.
One last note – although health is personal, true health happens in the context of community. That is true no matter what type of health we are talking about. This last Sunday, a dear sister in the church told me that the Emotionally Healthy Spirituality series has been perfect timing for herself and her daughter. She said, “Thanks for leading us through this.” I said, “You’re welcome. Thanks for your encouragement!” We both smiled, realizing we were thankful for each other and how God works through the community of faith.
Thanks for reading along. I would love to hear your thoughts as well. God’s blessings to you!