The king’s heart is like a stream of water directed by the Lord; he guides it wherever he pleases. People may be right in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their heart. The Lord is more pleased when we do what is right and just than when we offer him sacrifices. Haughty eyes, a proud heart, and evil actions are all sin. Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty. Wealth created by a lying tongue is a vanishing mist and a deadly trap. The violence of the wicked sweeps them away, because they refuse to do what is just. The guilty walk a crooked path; the innocent travel a straight road. It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home. Evil people desire evil; their neighbors get no mercy from them. If you punish a mocker, the simpleminded become wise; if you instruct the wise, they will be all the wiser. The Righteous One knows what is going on in the homes of the wicked; he will bring disaster on them. Those who shut their ears to the cries of the poor will be ignored in their own time of need. A secret gift calms anger; a bribe under the table pacifies fury. Justice is a joy to the godly, but it terrifies evildoers. The person who strays from common sense will end up in the company of the dead. Those who love pleasure become poor; those who love wine and luxury will never be rich. The wicked are punished in place of the godly, and traitors in place of the honest. It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife. The wise have wealth and luxury, but fools spend whatever they get. Whoever pursues righteousness and unfailing love will find life, righteousness, and honor. The wise conquer the city of the strong and level the fortress in which they trust. Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble. Mockers are proud and haughty; they act with boundless arrogance. Despite their desires, the lazy will come to ruin, for their hands refuse to work. Some people are always greedy for more, but the godly love to give! The sacrifice of an evil person is detestable, especially when it is offered with wrong motives. A false witness will be cut off, but a credible witness will be allowed to speak. The wicked bluff their way through, but the virtuous think before they act. No human wisdom or understanding or plan can stand against the Lord. The horse is prepared for the day of battle, but the victory belongs to the Lord.
Proverbs 21:1-31 NLT
Do you love to give advice? Do you have some people in your life that you nag? We all want to feel important, and giving advice makes us feel like we know more and are helping. The proverbs in this chapter should give us pause, though. It is better to live in the corner of an attic—or alone in the desert—than with a nagging spouse. Nagging people are right in their own eyes, but God knows the heart (v.2). The best plan is often to say nothing; saying too much leads to trouble (v.23).
Life provides its own lessons. It is not wrong to give some advice, but it is not wise to. We can’t prevent people from learning the hard lessons on their own; that is the only way that lessons are absorbed. Those who pursue righteousness find life (v.21), the lazy come to ruin (v.25), and those who work hard experience prosperity (v.5).
The best advice: give less advice. Support people. If someone needs to open their eyes to a problem, ask questions so that they will discover the truth on their own. Pass on wisdom but understand what helps a person absorb that wisdom. The goal is for the other person to think and act wisely, learning from their mistakes and victories. You want them to be dependent on God, not you. Otherwise, you will be giving them advice for the rest of your life. That’s not what you wanted, is it? That’s not what you want, is it?
How much advice do you give? How can you work on giving less advice, focusing more on asking good questions?
