I will sing of your love and justice, Lord. I will praise you with songs. I will be careful to live a blameless life— when will you come to help me? I will lead a life of integrity in my own home. I will refuse to look at anything vile and vulgar. I hate all who deal crookedly; I will have nothing to do with them. I will reject perverse ideas and stay away from every evil. I will not tolerate people who slander their neighbors. I will not endure conceit and pride. I will search for faithful people to be my companions. Only those who are above reproach will be allowed to serve me. I will not allow deceivers to serve in my house, and liars will not stay in my presence. My daily task will be to ferret out the wicked and free the city of the Lord from their grip.
Psalms 101:1-8 NLT
Doing what is right does not guarantee we will always feel God’s presence. In this psalm, David carefully describes the ways he has kept his life pure: he praises God (v.1), has the right motivations (v.2), does not look at what is sinful (v.3), keeps distance from those who do wrong (v.4), works for justice (vv.5, 8), seeks out faithful people (v.6), and removes liars from his employment (v.7). David has done all these good things, yet God feels far from him (v.2). This is part of the human experience.
Relationships will not always feel good; this includes our relationship with God. Were we only following Jesus because it feels good? We will not know the answer to this question until the Lord withdraws the feeling of His presence. He will never abandon us (Matt 28:20), but we will FEEL that He has. It is only then that we discover how dependent we were on the emotions. Our emotions are not bad; they are from God and they are important, but they do not determine the truth of God’s presence. Friendships, marriage, parenting, work, and more—if these relationships are to last, they must endure when the feelings are not happy. So it is with the Lord. He will take us through the “wall,” through the “dark night of the soul.” We will not be the same on the other side, but we will have a much deeper understanding of God, ourselves, and the world.
Have you gone through the “wall”? What was it like? What did you learn? For you personally, how can you remain faithful to Jesus even when He seems far away?
