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When I was a kid, I knew that Sunday mornings meant waking up early and heading to church with my family. I would sit in the wooden pews and read a passage in the Bible (often the story of Jacob & Rachel) while the pastor preached his sermon. I would count down the minutes until it was time for Sunday School — running to the classroom to sing “Deep and Wide” and color a picture of Joseph’s beautiful coat.  

The best Sundays were when we got to have a potluck. We’d head to the church basement and I’d sit on the metal folding chairs with my friends eating jello salad before we ran to the playground to get dizzy on the tire swing.  

I have many wonderful memories of church, but what truly stands out are the people. The family friends who invited us over for dinner during the week, the Sunday School teachers who told my parents how well I’d remembered my Bible verse that week, the pastor and his wife who would have deep discussions with me (like whether or not a tomato was a fruit).  

This experience was a regular part of my life that sadly is not the case for many families today. A recent study shows that only 35% of millennials (born between 1981-1996) attend church once a month or more. This is the age group of most parents of young children right now.  

Church attendance is decreasing and it means that kids are less comfortable at church. We can no longer automatically assume that kids are familiar with church. Without regular attendance, they are more likely to feel like an outsider. They are beginning to lose their sense of belonging within the church.

This is a big problem because children innately desire to feel like they belong. They need to be loved, accepted, and truly known.

I’ve got good news for you. We can still make a difference in the lives of our kids and families and help them feel connected to the church body. So, what can you do?  

Let's begin by making regular church attendance a priority in our lives. The more often that we do something, the more familiar we become, and the more often we want to be a part of it. Talk with your kids about how much you enjoy going to church, sing the worship songs with them, and ask them about what they’re learning during Kid’s Church. Make connections between your experiences at church and what you do during the week.  

Even if you don’t have kids at home, make connections with the kids at church. Greet each child that walks through the door. Get to know their names and find out about what they enjoy. Invite families into your lives for time together — it can be as simple as enjoying a snack after service together. Perhaps you can have them over for dinner or offer to babysit while mom and dad have a date night.  

Experience serving with the kids. You can join Kids Ministry and help guide them through the Bible (or just play and dance together with the little ones). Have the kids help at the snack table by passing out napkins or getting water for others. Ask them to join you in greeting and let them write out the name tags. Include our kids in everything at church and help them know that they belong here.

Kids need positive influences in their lives from their church family. They need to be able to rely on their pastors, leaders, teachers, and friends to have a support system that will point them back to the Bible and to Jesus. Together, we can change what church means to our kids and families. We can show them the love of Jesus Christ and help them to know that they are deeply loved children of God. 

“Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.’” Matthew 19:14 (NIV) 

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