Winning by Losing
What's your relationship with being right?
As a kid, I was what many would call "argumentative." Not just with my parents - with anybody. I was RIGHT, I was going to BE right, and I would CONVINCE you that I was right! I had to have the last word!
Yes, it was suggested to me numerous times that I should be a lawyer. (Did you know that lawyers don't actually do much arguing? It's mostly paperwork. I am so grateful that God calls people to lawyering, but also that I was not one of those people!)
Even if I wasn't arguing, I was finding loopholes or playing the game of "what if." Loopholes can be good - loopholes can help with things like efficiency and problem-solving. "What if" helps with critical thinking skills, problem-solving (again), and even empathy. But there's a time and a place, and learning that time and place (and the importance of impulse control) is part of the journey to maturity in our faith.
Jesus spent much of his time teaching. He taught what people needed to hear, even if not all of them were ready to comprehend his message. He was not afraid to speak truth directly to people's hearts, but he wasn't confrontational (most of the time). But we see a significant difference in pivotal moments of the crucifixion story, repeated throughout the gospels.
Matthew 26:62-63, Mark 14:60-61: Jesus does not respond to charges brought against him before the high priest.
Luke 23:9: Jesus does not respond to more accusations from religious leaders or questioning from Herod, the ruler of Galilee.
Matthew 27:11-14, Mark 15:3-5: Jesus does not respond to charges brought against him before Pilot, the Roman governor. In John 19:9, Jesus does not respond to a direct, seemingly simple question from Pilot.
Matthew 27:28-31 and 39-44, Mark 15:16-20 and 29-32, Luke 23:35-39, John 19:2-3: Jesus does not defend himself from being brutally beaten, mocked, or taunted.
Jesus knew the truth. Jesus IS truth. But in these moments, when it would have mattered most to us to shout and defend ourselves as if our life depended on it (because it did!), Jesus was... silent. He did not contradict. He did not defend. No arguments or counterpoints or zingers. He didn't throw any punches. This was it - there were no loopholes, no easy way to the world's salvation. If we back up a little (Matthew 26:39-44, Mark 14:53-39, Luke 22:41-45), we read the conversation Jesus had with the Father about what was to come. He did seek an alternate ending - but not to the point that he refused to follow through with the Lord's will. Can we honestly say that we do the same? Are we willing to be silent when we feel others are wrong or feel we are under personal attack, or do we escalate? Do we make sure we are going to God first in all things, or do we talk to everyone else about our problems before going to Him?
We hold that Jesus defeated sin and death through his sacrifice and resurrection. But does the picture painted for us in scripture match our picture of winning? When you read the prophecies about the messiah in Isaiah, does that look like your expectations of salvation? Sometimes love - real love, taught to us by God - looks like what we would consider losing. Did Jesus lose his life, or did he give his life?
I am not the one who holds all truth. I can't even know truth to the depth Jesus does. And yet I still want to be right, or have the last word, or even try to tell God my way is better. I want to win! But that picture of winning is false. God did not call any of us to win. He called us to love.
He will not shout or raise his voice in public.
Isaiah 42:2
He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word. He was led like a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth.
Isaiah 53:7